Friday, January 7, 2011

Warning! Country Strong Review

Do not read this if you would rather die than read a spoiler about the film Country Strong.

Or should I say Country Wrong. or Country Weak. Titles aren’t really important…here’s what is:

See the movie if you have enough alcohol on hand to drink yourself into a coma. You’ll need to designate a good four hours or so to knock yourself out so that you can sleep off the depression you’ll inevitably leave theaters with after the credits roll. Do yourself a favor: download the soundtrack and forget wasting money on a ticket to see the movie. All of the actors can sing, and no one’s lying when they say that Gwyneth Paltrow’s acting is good enough to make a cowboy holler. But the storyline is spun with a kind of heavy that never lifts.

Gwyneth’s character Kelly Canter is like a countrified Britney Spears minus the head shaving. Her story will have you feeling anxious throughout the entire film as you futilely await Kelly’s victorious career resurgence, and ultimately, you’ll probably feel the urge to check yourself into rehab after leaving the theater. The highlight of the movie is Kelly’s big comeback, although she kind of ruins the whole coming-back aspect when she intentionally overdoses on pills five minutes after walking offstage and dies unloved and alone (I told you it was depressing).

Country Strong won’t make anyone’s dreams come true and it might just discourage a few up-and-coming singers to rip up their big record deals and head back to the safety of a small town. But then again, that might not be such a bad thing after all.

On a brighter note, the dress Kelly/Gwyneth wore during the final song of her goodbye performance was stunning! Check it out:

I can definitely see that dress winning pageants. Stunning! But for a country concert…not quite so sure.

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