Washed in the blood

I have been a Christian since I was seven years old, but I am just now in the process of reading the Bible all the way through. This is embarrassing for two reasons:

1. My husband has already done it twice.

2. People around the world are literally killed just for owning a Bible, and yet they continue to put their lives on the line to get a copy because they understand this truth: The Word of God is Life.

If anyone else feels like joining me on this journey, you'll be able to catch up pretty easily—I am currently in Leviticus. You should know, though, that this is a hard chapter. There is a lot of repetition, so it can be easy to "zone out." But I've heard pastors say that Jesus can (metaphorically) be found on every page of the Bible if you look closely enough, and so that's what I've been trying to do. Look for Jesus. 

Today, I caught a glimpse of Him.

"Then Moses took some of the anointing oil and some of the blood from the altar and sprinkled them on Aaron and his garments and on his sons and their garments. So he consecrated Aaron and his garments and his sons and their garments." —Leviticus 8:30

My first thought when reading this was, "Okay, he just ruined their clothes." And these were some EXPENSIVE clothes. Check out these descriptions (all from Exodus 39):

"From the blue, purple and scarlet yarn they made woven garments for ministering in the sanctuary."

"They hammered out thin sheets of gold and cut strands to be worked into the [cloth]."

"They mounted onyx stones in gold filigree settings and engraved them like a seal with the names of the sons of Israel."

"They fashioned the breastpiece...then they mounted four rows of precious stones on it. In the first row there was a ruby, a topaz and a beryl; in the second row a turquoise, a sapphire and an emerald..."

The list just goes on from there. Jewels and gemstones. Fine linen and richly-dyed yarn. Chains and bells of gold. Intricately stitched pomegranates. How could Moses stain those beautiful outfits with spots of blood?

That's when I saw Jesus. That's when I remembered His blood, which was shed for me. That's when I realized that the garments worn by Aaron and his sons were not made beautiful and pure by their outward adornment but by the blood stains, which signified that the Lord had consecrated them and made atonement for their sins.

I have fought hard to prove my own purity in the past. I have scrubbed my clothes, wiped myself clean, Windex’d the walls of my heart and prayed that God would find me worthy. How did I miss the Truth that my purity has nothing to do with manufactured coverings of my own design, and everything to do with the bloodstains of my Savior—the Living Sacrifice that made atonement for my sins once and for all? The cross has made me clean, and nothing else. I must be washed in crimson to wear garments that are white as snow—bleach and soap and good works and righteous acts have nothing to do with it whatsoever. 

Without the bloodstains, we're just wearing clothes. When we're washed in the blood, we're clothed in garments of His righteousness. 

"I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For He has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels."—Isaiah 61:10

The heart of our desires

 

Turns out, even living in a castle in France's Loire Valley can't eternally satisfy.

 "Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart."—Psalm 37:4

Psalm 37:4 is one of those verses. The kind that everybody memorizes in Sunday School; A pretty promise that we Christians are particularly fond of naming and claiming.

I wonder sometimes about this one, though. Sure, we can all quote the verse. But are we getting it right? Do we understand what we're saying? Do we know what it really means?

For a long time, I thought of Psalm 37:4 like an if/then equation—"If I read my Bible, pray, and go to church enough, then God will come out of the lamp to grant my every wish."

Dangerous, dangerous, dangerous, this interpretation. And wrong. Like, F-minus on the test kinda wrong.

In her devotional book titled Jesus Calling, author Sarah Young phrases it this way: "Delight yourself in the Lord, for He is the Desire of your heart."

This seems like a small change at first, right? Just a slight variation in sentence structure. But I think the distinction goes much deeper than the syntax—right down into the heart of things, in fact. In our self-centered humanity, it's easy to approach Psalm 37:4 as a formula by which we can attain God's favor and get everything we really-really-really want in life. But here's the slightly harder, but so much more fulfilling truth:

If we delight ourselves in the Lord He will always be faithful to give us the desires of our hearts, because at the base of every earthly desire is a hunger for Him. The things of this earth can only temporarily satisfy the ultimate God-space within us. Note: This truth even applies to good earthly things (like marriage, deep friendships, high honors and accolades, and ministry positions). These kinds of longings might masquerade as the desires of our heart. We might even feel a deep, physical pang at the thought of never getting married, or fulfilling our potential, or achieving our goals. But ultimately...

...accepting a marriage proposal will not forever-fill the deep longing we have for completed and perfected companionship. There is no human on this earth that has the "other half" we spend so much time seeking. Only God can meet that need.

I know you're not meant to be my "everything," but I still like looking at you.

...rising to the top of our field does not guarantee a life-long feeling of affirmation or the sense that we've "made it." Only God can impart the kind of blessed assurance that makes it possible for us to truly "cease striving."

...seeing our biggest, most fantastic dreams come to life cannot satiate our craving for more: more adventure, more travel, more goals, more dreams. Only God can satisfy—period. 

If Psalm 37:4 is an equation, I think it goes more like this: Reveling in more of God = Being satisfied by more of God. Nothing else—nothing else—can bring the fulfillment of the Father.

So we take delight in Him. How? By learning to acclaim Him. By seeing a sunset and praising His artistry. By languishing in His Word. By accepting His love. By believing His promises. By trusting Him with everything we've got. By walking by faith instead of sight. By knowing His Truth. By imitating Christ. By seeking first His kingdom. By relinquishing control. By acknowledging His name in all times, seasons, and circumstances. And thus the "heart" of all our earthly desires—to know Him more and glorify His name—are met.

No genie-in-a-lamp required.

. . .

 
My eyes are ever on Your hands,
What I want, a list of my demands.
Like an undisciplined child I stomp my feet.
Feeling thwarted
I rage, I curse, I weep.
Yet from You no condemnation,
Only love and affirmation.
You say to me, "You are mine.
Trust me, believe me.
Look up, into My eyes."
But I wrestle out of Your embrace,
It's Your hands I seek,
And not Your face.
I grasp only for the gift, ignoring the Giver.
Oh Father, help me to wait for what only You can deliver!
Because that thing I want and hold so dear
Can never satisfy My heart or stop my tears.
May this Valley of Baca, this place of tears,
Be my reminder that You listen; my God Who hears.
While my heart is still so tender,
Jesus, help me to surrender.

"Look Up," by Ann Osborn

The hem of His garment

Mark 5:25-30: "And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind Him in the crowd and touched His cloak, because she thought, 'If I just touch His clothes, I will be healed.' Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering."

. . .

  

How desperate this woman must have been! Everything she tried to do made her condition worse. Every doctor she went to see only increased her pain and suffering. Her earthly resources were exhausted. There was nowhere left to turn. She was at the end of her rope.

A year ago, I was in a similar state of desperation. I knew the Lord had placed a calling on my life, but when I looked ahead, I saw nothing. I was in the vortex of a seemingly endless season of waiting.

No job offers. No plans. No direction. No future husband. No publishing contract. No clue. Just an overwhelming stretch of future that I couldn't see, control, fathom or predict.

In my life, these seasons have traditionally triggered anxiety. My traditional response? To dive inward, self-isolate, and panic. That's the key to health and happiness, right? (Hint: It's not.)

Self-isolation looks like this: cold and lonely. Don't do it.

So there I was...again. Sitting in church, head in my hands, tears falling down my face. Tormented by the thought of falling into another pit of anxiety. Completely desperate, begging Him to wrap His hands around my mind, to "fix me" once and for all. That's when the bleeding woman came to mind.

Like my biblical friend, I had exhausted every earthly resource available to me. I had been to counselors and talked for hours about the ins and outs of fear, anxiety, and worry. I had consulted friends. I had read books. I had asked for prayer. And still, I remained afflicted. Perpetually concerned. Unable to rest. Fearful of fear. 

What I hadn't done? Peeled myself away from introspection for long enough to simply stretch my hands out to Jesus.

Broken, I prayed from the deepest part of me: "If you would just let the hem of your garment pass over me, Lord, I know I will be made well."

And then a marvelous, beautiful, quiet thing happened.

Matthew 9:20-22: "Just then a woman who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years came up behind Him and touched the edge of his cloak. She said to herself, 'If I only touch His cloak, I will be healed.' Jesus turned and saw her. 'Take heart, daughter,' He said, 'your faith has healed you.' And the woman was healed at that moment."

As it was with the bleeding woman, so it was with me: One brush of His garment upon my life infused me with His healing power. I felt a physical release as fears, doubts, uncertainties, agonizing thoughts and painful memories were flooded by the Truth of who I am in Him, and more importantly, the Truth of who He is and has always been.

Freedom looks like this: warm, wide-open spaces. Grab hold of it!

 So here's the question: Why didn't I come to Him sooner? 

1. I was looking at myself, not at Him

To spot Jesus in the midst of all the junk crowding our minds, we can't fix our eyes on anyone or anything but Him. I had to turn away from all distractions. Say goodbye to the practice of digging for answers within myself. Stop expecting Band-aids offered by other humans to heal the deep wounds of my mind and spirit.

2. My hands were filled with other things

To take hold of the hem of Jesus' garment, we can't be grasping anything else in our hands. I had to let go of self-concern. Forsake my pride. Lay down my fears about the future. Cease worrying that His provision would run out. Release the stranglehold I kept on my dreams, ambitions, and desire to please others.

3. I didn't trust His heart as Father

To be restored by the healing only He can bring, we can't approach God with human understanding. His power is not limited. He doesn't love selectively or impartially. Unlike a human father, our God is perfect in nature. In faith, I had to say He is my healer—not just the healer of other people "with bigger problems who probably need it more than me." In faith, I had to affirm that He's a Father who longs to give good gifts to His children—all His children. In faith, I had to find my worth in my status as His daughter—not in my own accomplishments. 

To this day, my healing continues. It's a process, and the enemy is always lurking around trying to tempt me to despair. When I'm "feeling good," I tend to let go of Jesus' robe and say, "Thanks for the medicine—I've got it from here." The result? I get fixated on the mirror again, close my fists around the things of this earth, and forget how deep, high, long and wide the Father's love is for me. But every time I return to my Savior, in His great mercy and love, He is faithful to bring me to a new level of deliverance.

Do you need to be restored today? Don't linger in your pain. Desperate for Him, say, "I know the smallest touch from you restores my life." Have you forgotten the new name He's given you? In faith, clutch the hem of His garment in both of your hands, and refuse to let go. Are you gaping at the future, grasping at identity, groveling for the approval of man? Lay down the things of this world, go to the Father without a backup plan, and hear Him immediately say, "Take heart...your faith has healed you."

And then, walking in wellness, help someone else find healing in His name—the only name by which we're saved. 

John 10:10 "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

The Well: Jesus take the wheel

If you're looking for encouragement today, click no further. Keli Kryfko — a beautiful friend of mine (who just so happens to be Miss Limestone County 2013!) — is today's guest blogger. And wow...does she have a story to tell!

Once you read Keli's words, I know you'll agree that her story is more than life-changing. It's life-giving. Personally, I can't help but be reminded of Psalm 116: 8-9 when I read her testimony:

"For you, Lord, have delivered me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living."

Thank you, Keli, for sharing your story. I know God will continue to use your life to make an impact for His kingdom — whether as Keli Kryfko, Miss America, or Keli Kryfko, daughter of the King. So cool that either way, you're royalty.

Be blessed!

. . .

Have you ever been told that you had a purpose? Or that God has a plan for your life? Well, I have been fortunate enough to grow up in a home where this was said to me on a regular basis. And after 20 years of searching, I thought I had found mine: I was going to become Miss America.

Now, I know what you might be thinking. Maybe something like, "Well that's a little extreme..." And I would agree with you. However, Jesus didn't give me the gift of exceptional athleticism or even an IQ that would get me into Harvard. No, he gave me the gift of long eyelashes and being able to work a curling iron! It wasn't until I started pageants that I felt like I had found my place in life. I truly love people and impacting others — and if I can do so with a gallon of makeup on and an orange spray tan, all the better!

This year at Miss Texas, I knew I could do it. I could win. Not in an overly confident way — I just believed that this was my destiny. Well, God had other plans...I didn't win. And I was devastated. I spent the next few weeks after the pageant in a daze. "What now? Where do I go from here?" I asked myself. I honestly felt like I had lost a part of my spark for life.

Driving home one night, I was in my car praying that The Lord would just do something! I needed some encouragement. I needed to know that I still had purpose and value, and that with or without pageants, I could make a difference on this planet. That's when it happened.

A Basset Hound ran out into the middle of the highway. Since I'm an animal lover, my initial reaction was to swerve. When I did that, I ended up over-compensating and the car went swerving down the highway. Before I knew it, my car was off the highway and flipping repeatedly. In the midst of this, I kept telling myself, "It's okay. You are going to die, but it's okay." I didn't know how else to comfort myself in that moment, except by accepting what was happening.

Then, for no clear reason, the flipping subsided. I was awake, I was alive, and although the car was a hot mess, even the AC was still working (I love how God takes care of me). A trooper who was making a routine traffic stop saw the whole thing happen. Later, I found out that he had already called in for a predicted fatality — along with several other onlookers. So you can imagine the trooper's surprise when he came up to my window to find me very much alive!

When I finally got the door to open, all I could say was "Jesus really loves me!" It was in that moment — in the darkness of the night, which others might see as a horrible or even discouraging experience — that God met me where I was at with exactly what I needed. God had saved my life and showed me that my purpose here has yet to be fulfilled.

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is in Acts (Acts 13:36), where it talks about the passing of David. It says, "Now when David had served God's purpose in his own generation, he fell asleep; he was buried with his ancestors and his body decayed." There are two things I take away from this verse — especially since my accident:

1. Notice that the verse talks about David's purpose in his OWN generation. Like I said earlier, I love makeup, big hair, fashion, and all things girly. And guess what?? It fits with MY generation. We are where we are by design — not by default. Start thinking about how YOUR talents and passions fit into this generation.

2. If you are breathing, you have purpose. Again, notice what the verse emphasizes: That when David had served God's purpose, that's when he passed away. This shows that if we have life in this body, we have a purpose to fulfill. Yes, that includes YOU. I often question how God could really use me to help His purpose — but He uses us all. 

Since the wreck I have had a job offer in Houston, and — even more exciting — a book offer with a faith-based publishing company. Is it what I had planned? 100% no. But is it what God had planned? 100% yes. 

You have been created with a purpose and for a purpose by a God that loves you. My encouragement: Let Him come in and develop a vision that will help you reach that life of purpose you were intended for. 

- Keli 

. . .

 

The ultimate Well is Jesus Christ, by whom we as Christians are filled, purified, and poured out over the world as thirst-quenchers and drought-enders. On this blog, The Well will function as a collection zone for spiritually-centered posts. A place where you can click to—prayerfully—be filled as you read God-stories and words of inspiration written by both myself and other contributors.

"...But whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:14

"The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." Isaiah 58:11

"I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint." Jeremiah 31:25

This is it, part two

I am thrilled to share today's first guest post on The Well: This is it, part II. The author, Beth Kiker, is a fantastic and godly woman who I am beyond blessed to call my mother-in-law. Beth originally wrote this as a letter in response to This is it (now dubbed "part I" in this two-part series on contentment), but I convinced her to let me share it publicly. I know that you will be blessed and encouraged today as you read her words of wisdom. 

. . .

Karley’s post on contentment, “This is it,” deals with what I call the "value issue" that most women seem to wrestle with at some point in time. In this day and age, it is so important to know the Truth and that what He says is the truth...He IS enough. We must arm ourselves daily with this Word, because unfortunately, the value issue so often becomes a reoccurring struggle.

Although by the grace of God we may experience precious moments of knowing who we are in Christ—a princess, a child of God, a joint heir with Jesus—unfortunately, this doesn't mean these questions of worth and value will not return again and again in the future. In fact, satan is such a clever and devious (fill in the blank), that he will not only bring these doubts back, but will also use others to make us question whether we've done enough, been enough, worked enough, or made the right decision in being on the path we've chosen.  

In my experience, the most innocent question—"What do you do?"—from a stranger waiting in line can have the ability to trigger hours of second thoughts after having answered, "I'm a housewife and stay-at-home mom."  How lame, I begin to say to myself. I should be doing something else, most of my friends work outside the home, the kids are in school most the day, I should have a part-time job, I'm not even using my college degree, and on and on. But here’s the truth: It's not just women who are in this situation. And then there's the flip side of the woman/mom who does have a full-time job, but struggles with leaving before the kids go to school, not being home when the kids get home, not cooking a home-cooked breakfast, lunch or dinner because of work hours, being late or not making it to basketball, soccer, football, baseball practices or games because of work, or being too worn out after working all day to want to do ANYTHING else with her husband or family. That’s a whole other area of feeling inadequate or questioning, “Is THIS it?”

The point is, I know very few women who think their lives are perfect or have been perfect, or feel they have accomplished all they wanted to, or believe they’ve met the expectations that others had for them. But if we can truly be content with where we are at each point in our lives, THAT should be a point of accomplishment in itself.  

By all means, we should continue dreaming and having ambition—but it should all be filtered by the wisdom of God and His plans for us.  This doesn't mean we won't have disappointments or regrets. But you know what? When we look back on our lives, and we measure accomplishment in terms of the lives we have touched and influenced, and the people and activities we have poured our energy and heart into, I believe we will hear that still small voice of Peace and Joy saying, "Well done".

We live in a time of hyped up media and glam. Not every moment in our lives will be super exciting, super romantic, or super special, especially according to the world's standards and views. But like Karley’s blog stated: He is enough, regardless of anything else. If this head knowledge truly becomes heart knowledge for all of us, then we will be well-equipped for this life journey and blessed, blessed, blessed.

"So many things I thought would bring me happiness,

Some dreams that are realities today.

But it's such an irony the things that mean the most to me

Are the memories that I made along the way."

. . .

 

The ultimate Well is Jesus Christ, by whom we as Christians are filled, purified, and poured out over the world as thirst-quenchers and drought-enders. On this blog, The Well will function as a collection zone for spiritually-centered posts. A place where you can click to—prayerfully—be filled as you read God-stories and words of inspiration written by both myself and other contributors.

"...But whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:14

"The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." Isaiah 58:11

"I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint." Jeremiah 31:25

The Well : This is it

What if this is it? 

Have you ever asked yourself that question?

What if I never move to the next level in my career? What if this anxiety never goes away? What if I really stay single forever? What if I never achieve the level of recognition I imagined?

What if this is it?

In the past, I've been afraid to even acknowledge the possibility of a "this is it." We "achievement-driven" people tend to be like that—fearful of stillness, overly self-aware. We scan our resumes constantly inside our heads, wondering if other people are thinking about what we're doing next; if they tsk and tut and whisper that it seems like we've grown stagnant; if, at the age of 20-something, we've already maxed out our potential in addition to our credit cards. 

Are we a disappointment? Is there something more? Are we missing out on something? 

Afraid of the answers to these questions, we put our heads down and we work. Hard. We set out to prove both to ourselves and that gallery of imaginary onlookers that we are capable of more. We assure ourselves that once we get that job, or travel to that country, or make that connection, or get that ring, or walk that red carpet, we'll find it.

Contentment.

The feeling that we've "made it." That we've "arrived." That we've attained the fulfillment, peace, and unshakeable self-assurance we've been longing for.

I just watched a documentary called The Queen of Versailles. In short, a billionaire couple has the ability to buy the world—and they do. But it isn't enough. 

When a regular mansion doesn't satisfy, a 90,000 square-foot monstrosity of a building project ensues. Their marriage cracks. Their economic status falters. They have everything and yet they come up empty, craving more.

I was living and working in Monaco when the Lord first spoke this into my life: "I am enough." 

During that time I was spending weekends traveling to Saint Tropez, Cannes, and Venice. The house I was living in was built on the edge of a cliff overlooking the sea. The jogging trails I ran boasted views of snow-capped mountains on one side and the beach on the other. Walking into town was like getting a front-row seat at fashion week. Quite literally, the best of everything was laid out before me.

It was glittery, and it was romantic. But it wasn't enough.

I was lonely. I craved companionship. I dreaded the quietness of the house when the family left for the day. 

What if we knew that the secret to contentment isn't really a secret at all?

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength." Phil. 4:12-13

By God's grace, and through many non-glamorous moments of everyday life, contentment has boiled down to this for me: 

I believe that if I spend the rest of my life bringing the Lord glory by making my husband's lunch, it is possible for me to not only be "okay," but to be "filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." I believe that I can be deeply satisfied in exercising the gifts He's given me, even if the books I write are never published. I believe I can find purpose in ministering to just one person and loving them well, even if my platform never grows any bigger. I believe that life is a vapor, and no matter how many pretty things I accumulate while on this earth, I cannot take them with me when I die. I believe that even if I lost the people, the things, and the dreams I treasure most; even when I felt that I was standing alone in my darkest hour, and unable to be reached; even then Christ's grace has been and will be sufficient. Even then I can find joy. Even then I can rest in the knowledge that He is my all in all, and He is enough.

We can find excitement and pleasure in checking things off our to-do lists, in achieving goals, in seeing beautiful places, in meeting noteworthy people, and in being interviewed by Katie Couric. But these things will always and only be temporary. Ultimately, they are just pieces of cotton candy—fluffy and pretty things that melt away in an instant—unless they bring glory to God and work to advance His kingdom.

So what if this is it?

Then we rejoice in the fact that by fixing our eyes on Jesus, we will be filled and satisfied no matter the circumstance. 

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “ As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9 

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,  to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Eph. 3:20-21

. . .

 

The ultimate Well is Jesus Christ, by whom we as Christians are filled, purified, and poured out over the world as thirst-quenchers and drought-enders. On this blog, The Well will function as a collection zone for spiritually-centered posts. A place where you can click to—prayerfully—be filled as you read God-stories and words of inspiration written by both myself and other contributors.

"...But whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:14

"The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." Isaiah 58:11

"I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint." Jeremiah 31:25

Hearing and Knowing: Part 2

Today, I have the privilege of introducing a very special guest blogger: my dad.

 

He's bringing you part two of "Water and Oil" - the next saga in our mini conversation series about the Holy Spirit. No further introduction necessary; I can't wait for you to get to know his heart.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Stephen, the man so full of faith and the Holy Spirit’s power, did spectacular miracles among the people.” Acts 6:8 (TLB)

Last night I watched “Father of Lights”, the final movie in the Finger of God trilogy. It was moving to say the least. There was a pastor in India that woke up every day and simply did what the Holy Spirit told him to do that day. His story was amazing, as were the people and their circumstances he encountered. The movie left me to question why I’m not experiencing the Holy Spirit like that more often in my life, and larger still, why we don’t experience the Spirit as a Christian culture at large.

Although I’m still learning the discipline of abiding in the Spirit daily, I will say that at several times in my life I have heard the Holy Spirit give me a clear word and I have stood on that word and watched it unfold exactly as spoken. On one occasion, I was sitting in my car in the middle of a hailstorm. I had just hung up the phone from a call with my daughter, Karley. She had received the news from SMU that her opportunity for a full ride scholarship was not to be. She felt rejected and hurt.

As a parent, when my child hurts, I hurt. We had all thought the scholarship was a sure thing. It seemed like a perfect fit. I cried out to God in that hailstorm and clearly heard Him speak this phrase to me: “she can go to California and you can let her.” Whoa! Instantly my mood of sorrow and hurt was broken, changed instead to excitement. With one smooth phrase, He addressed my biggest concerns. Would she be accepted into Pepperdine (her dream school), would I be able to pay for it, and could I let her go all the way to the West Coast, knowing I couldn’t rescue her at a moment’s notice?

Keep in mind that to this point, Karley had never even left the nest for summer camp unless her mom or myself were also attending as counselors. Also, I am a bit of a control freak! Needless to say, having heard the Father’s voice, I went home and told her that she was going to be accepted into Pepperdine and that is where she would go. She got the official notice from P.U. the next day, which was confirmation of the word He had spoken during the storm. And just so you know, He provided the funds and she graduated in three years with no debt. Praise God!

On another occasion, the Holy Spirit clearly told me I was going to have a dog; and not just any dog, but one that I had just been told about by a friend. He was a two-year-old lab being given up by a single mom. The timing was perfect for me. I clearly needed a “bud” as I was going through empty nest syndrome. There was only one problem: my wife Ann is not a big fan of dogs, and I knew that constantly having hair in the house would never fly with her. While pulling into my driveway in my Jeep, though, I clearly heard the voice of God tell me this was my dog. It immediately moved me to tears and I said to Him out loud, “then you are going to have to take care of Ann.” I proceeded into the house and asked her what she thought about us adopting this lab. Her response was simply, “we can go take a look”. Whoa! I knew right away her spirit was open and it was going to happen. I’ve had Cody now for over three years, and consider him a true companion. On a much deeper level, through pet ownership, God has used Cody to redeem me from past wounds. But I’ll save that for another day.

Despite these experiences, more often than not, I don’t operate my life on a consistent basis by following the Holy Spirit. It seems that neither does a large percentage of our American Christian culture. After last night, I believe I know why. We don’t encounter God in miraculous ways because we simply don’t believe we need Him to live our lives of comfort and pleasure. Instead of seeking God and continually talking with Him throughout the day, we only cry out when something goes wrong with our plans or we encounter fear over something. I call this being a “foxhole Christian”. We have bought into the lie that comfort and pleasure are the primary goals in life. The American way has become about acquiring things and having more leisure time to use them. We believe that this will ultimately make us happy.But since things can never make us truly happy (and always leave us longing for more), our blessings have become our downfall. We’ve been deceived.

What then do we pursue? Contrary to what our culture says, the greatest achievement in life is not becoming financially independent or acquiring more possessions, but rather the ability to hear the voice of God and have Him accomplish His purposes through us and in us. God says knowing Him personally is life's greatest achievement. It's the Olympic Gold medal! This is what the Lord says: "let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice, and righteousness on Earth, for in these I delight, declares the Lord” (Jeremiah 9:23-24).

The operating system of the Christian is the Holy Spirit. God designed it that way and promised to impart the Holy Spirit upon salvation.  Psalm 32:8 says, "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go. I will counsel you and watch over you."

In my life, I am so often distracted by all of my gadgets, possessions, and technology. That’s a problem, considering the times when I hear His voice most clearly are quiet times; while meditating on the Word, mowing the lawn, sitting in the steam room, or other places where distractions are muted. In this I learn what He means in Psalms 46:10 when He says, “Be still and know that I am God.”

First, I rest and abide in Him. Next I discipline myself to speak to Him regarding every detail and decision of my day, then listen for His response. Finally, I act in obedience to His direction. I do this until it becomes a habit — not an exception. I have found that in doing so, I experience what it means to be led by the Holy Spirit and I encounter God in miraculous ways.

Email: wkeitho@yahoo.com

Twitter: @wkeitho

Blog: reparentedbygod.blogspot.com

Water and Oil: Part 1

Got your coffee cup in hand? There's a dessert recipe for you at the end of this post that should complement your refill perfectly (peanut butter banana bread scented with honey, cinnamon and vanilla. Get ready!). In the meantime, let's chat.

Welcome to Water and Oil: the first half of a two-part conversation about the Holy Spirit inspired by a message that has literally been playing on repeat in my life for the past few weeks. This post is meant to serve as an introduction. My dad will be responsible for the second, and believe me—you’re not going to want to miss his perspective.

A brief history for you. I was raised in a Southern Baptist church where Jesus was Lord, God was good, and the Holy Spirit was that third part of the equation everyone kept ignoring because we didn’t exactly know what to do with Him. As a child, the first two made sense. The Father was the dad; the Son, naturally, was His son. But what did that make the Holy Spirit (or as some people called Him, the Holy Ghost)? A mysterious uncle who died of causes unknown?

Whatever He was, I knew that He was powerful. Which brings us to water and oil, or the way I’ve come to recognize the power that I always knew existed, but never began to understand until my adulthood.  

 Water: representative of the Spirit’s manifestation, or being filled to overflowing as He spills over the walls of our humanity.

 Oil: the anointing that follows His manifestation, or the supernatural ability to accomplish what we cannot do in our own strength.

Let’s get personal for a sec. It's so easy for me to trust what God will do for other people…but in my own life? I so often fear being wrong. Looking foolish. I feel inadequate. I doubt. I’m sure I’ll be hurt. I cling to the messages of the world that tell me to know myself, be myself, take care of myself, stand up for myself. But what if the truest version of the Karley I was created to be is actually revealed when I cease striving, choosing instead to empty myself to be used as a vessel by the Holy Spirit?

That would be, well…crazy, wouldn’t it? Because if that’s true, then we can only really find ourselves when we lay our hopes, dreams, ambitions and goals on the altar. When we entrust our deepest desires into the Father’s hands for safekeeping, faithfully believing that He will bring his good, pleasing, and perfect will to pass. If that’s really true, then we can only be the fullest version of ourselves when we allow the Holy Spirit to fill us completely (water). And it must be true, because we are made in God’ s image. Which means that only in being filled by His Spirit can we set aside our selfish ambition and love others the way we were intended to (oil).

In short, I have found that in my life, the presence of the Holy Spirit clears my vision, increases my awareness, and empowers me to love others with a grace and mercy that says, "Yes, you're flawed, but so am I, and I will love you anyway." That is the Holy Spirit I’ve come to know. This is what He’s teaching me: I am called to trust. I am called to love. He will do the rest.

If you're not ready for this conversation to be over, I highly suggest the following resources:

The Bible

John 5: 16-30

John 14:1-31

John 15:5-16

2 Corinth. 12: 9-10

Rev. 3: 13-16

Furious Love

A friend recently pointed me toward the documentary series that "Furious Love" is a part of, and I can't say thank you enough that he did. Watch this film and you'll see light piercing the dark, questions being raised and chains being broken (the filmmaker goes everywhere from satanic celebrations in Salem to brothels in Thailand). The common denominator? Divinely inspired love. Rent it tonight on iTunes and send me an email afterward if you need someone to reflect with.

John Spurling: "Spirit-Empowered Living"

A link to the message preached at Gateway church today. If you're looking to dig deeper into the role of the Holy Spirit, what it means to be filled by Him or how to walk daily in the empowerment He brings, this is for you (email rule applies here, too).

Be sure to check back for part 2 later this week, where my dad will share his personal experience with operating in…and out…of the Spirit. Can't wait for y'all to get to know his heart!

Until then—how about that banana bread?

PB n’ Honey Banana Bread

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups mashed ripe banana
5 tbsp butter
1/3 cup creamy peanut butter
1 tbsp honey
1 pot applesauce
2 large eggs
1/2 tsp vanilla
1/4 cup turbinado raw sugar
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1 1/2 cups flour
1/4 cup ground flaxseed
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Glaze:
1/3 cup powdered sugar
1 tablespoon 1% low-fat milk
1 tablespoon creamy peanut butter

Directions:

Let’s keep this simple

1. Mix the wet ingredients


2. Mix the dry ingredients


3. Combine in a loaf pan sprayed with cooking spray


4. Bake at 350 for one hour, or until slightly browned and set


5. Combine glaze ingredients in a bowl and drizzle over the top


6. Consume, run on treadmill for an hour, repeat

"So...what's next?"

Things couldn’t be more different than they were just 5 short months ago.

Miss Texas week has come and gone, the job search has rebooted, I turned 22, my Keurig is humming, new desserts have been baking, and voila! I’m officially ready to say that the blog is BACK. I hope you have a cup of coffee curled between your hands, because I plan on picking up right where we left off a few months ago - with a few Miss Texas pictures, a nice deep talk and a yummy recipe thrown in at the end for good measure.

Miss Texas meant taking a break from blogging. And the kitchen.

Mmm. Conversation, coffee, and carbs. My three favorite things, back in one space again. It just feels right!

Although I put my blog on hiatus, I never stopped writing - I just changed the format. Private journaling took the place of public blogging, giving me the time and energy I needed to produce publishable material as an intern at D Magazine. (Missed my articles? Feel free to check out a few here, here, and here).

It’s hard to believe how many things can happen in a relatively short span of time. How many thoughts you can think, dreams you can dream, people you can meet, and plans you can make…then change. As I was flipping through my journal at church yesterday, I realized I’ve been living in a highly controlled, laser-focused whirlwind. Like a test tube tornado, if such a thing existed. But although my focus has been razor sharp, the focal point of my frenzied activity has been something of a shape-shifter.

Cheesin’ at the judges reception with my new friend Christa, Miss Texas Panhandle

An athlete I met this spring at the Special Olympics

So what does that mean, exactly? Well, something like this: what I want keeps taking different forms, morphing from becoming a published novelist to owning my own business to getting my PHd to being crowned Miss Texas. So varied, I know. But I think I’ve realized that there is a common thread somewhere underneath all of those ambitions: they’re all kind of…impressive. Resume builders. Bullet points sure to show people I’m made of promise. That I haven’t just done cool things in the past, but that I’m going to do even cooler things in the future.

Just dance! Talent competition

Don’t get me wrong - there’s nothing wrong with ambition, or achievement. But it can become a dangerous thing if we become consumed by the story we’re trying to tell. When all of our energy goes into accumulating experiences that make the most interesting plot twists, or keeping our (Facebook) audience guessing about what fantastically exciting adventure will unfold in the next chapter of our life.

Christa, myself, and Victoria (Miss Fairview) before shooting our video introductions

I think a lot of it’s normal. We want to see things, do things. Big things. We fear running out of time, being left behind, not living loud enough to be heard. We’re scared of blending in. Afraid we can’t keep up. Maybe we feel the need to control our future, to try to ensure our future happiness or security by surrounding ourselves with a cushion of life experience. But I think what we (or at least what I) tend to forget in the middle of the me-vortex is this: we’re not meant to be the star of our story. That role is reserved for our Lord and Savior alone.

Sometimes, I think I get so caught up trying to be a scene-stealer that I forget what I really am: a vessel meant to be filled by Christ. A mirror that reflects His love. An arrow that points to the saving power, the mercy, and the grace of the cross. The shiny bullet points on my resume? Those are extras! Gifts of opportunity the Lord has used to teach and refine me, and to reveal more of Himself. Ultimately, it comes down to this: there is no lasting worth in accomplishment for the sake of accomplishment. Because give an earthly victory a month…heck, give it a week!…and it goes stale. Not only does it go stale, it leaves you hungry for something else that’s new and fresh.

If the pressure to continue racking up accomplishments doesn’t come from within, it will certainly come from without. Just weeks after graduating college, and literally hours after Miss Texas ended, I was already being bombarded with that killer question of all questions: “So…what’s next?” And I know I’m not the only one to get hit with the question. My newly married friends, for example, get this version all the time: “So…how soon are y’all planning on having kids?” No pressure there, right?

Reading a sweet birthday poster that my pageant sisters made for me!

I get the intent. We’re being supportive! We’re excited about what lies ahead for our friends! And often times, we’re just plain curious. But we’re also pushing ourselves and our friends out of this moment in anticipation of the next. We’re just trying to make conversation. But in doing so, we need to consider the possibility that we’re diminishing the value of the present by bullying our way into the future before it’s time to live in it.

That being said…in my own life, I am so excited for what’s next! But here’s the deal: I have no idea what “next” will look like. I have a few ideas about what form it could take. A lot of dreams about writing books, places I’d like to go and people I’d like to meet. But here’s what the Lord has been so faithful to teach me: I don’t have to see it all in detail for Him to bring it to life.

Right now, my prayer is that the Lord will refine my vision, and change my focus from what I want to what I have that the world needs and He can use. And I know He’ll be faithful to do it, because every dream I’ve ever had has been revealed to be just a dusty sketch after He’s painted over it in technicolor. My life has become a million times more brilliant with His touch, and my most carefully constructed plans have crumbled under the greater weight of His perfect will, providence, and timing.

Arrival ceremony

Jammin’ out during opening number

Christ is always faithful to reveal the truest version of the men and women we were created to be when we call upon Him, and I believe that He longs to give life to the desires of our hearts. The catch? We have to stop looking in the mirror for long enough to fix our eyes on Him.

“Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.”

And now for that recipe I promised:

PB Choco-Chip Cake Batter Blondies!

I just made this gem for a coffee date on Friday, and you better believe the pan has long been licked clean. Find the yummy recipe here on one of my favorite blogs, Girl Meets Life.

Until next time! xo

How to Hear

I took a mini-day trip yesterday to Eze village. Just me, my devotional, my camera, and the sunset (okay, and a little Christmas shopping, too).

Although in general I prefer to “go places” with other people, on occasion I also really enjoy getting away by myself. Which is good, because I’ve definitely had a lot of “me time” since coming to France.

But you know what? It’s been such a rich and good thing. I didn’t say easy—sometimes it’s not. But good? Definitely.

I think we all experience things differently when we’re alone. Personally, I find that I appreciate things more deeply, take more time to observe, walk a little slower. I give life my fully focused attention.

But the best thing about being tout-seul, I’ve found, is that it has enabled me to hear the still, small voice of the Lord that had been escaping me before I came here.

Scratch that—His whispers weren’t escaping me. I just wasn’t tuning in. Not with my fully focused attention, anyway. I gave the Lord bits and pieces, carved out a little space for one-on-one time with Him when I could fit it into my jam-packed college schedule. But you know what? It wasn’t the Lord who was getting gypped out of a great relationship with me during this time. Exactly the opposite, in fact.

I was gypping myself out of walking the pathway to peace. I was taking away the assurance that comes from keeping an open line of communication with God. I was scheduling my spirituality instead of basking in the comfort of being fully known by my Creator.

Being alone isn’t the easiest thing, and it’s certainly not the most comfortable. And don’t get me wrong—I think that by nature, we’re all made for companionship. But think about it. When you need to have a heart-to-heart with a close friend, where do you go? To a Taylor Swift concert jam-packed with screaming 15-year-olds? To the top of a roller coaster at six flags where you can’t hear anything but the wind rushing past?

I’m thinking no. You go somewhere quiet and peaceful, where the two of you can be—you guessed it—alone (and preferably where you can get some really great coffee, too). You sit with your friend. You talk some, but you listen more. You focus. You forget about everything else on your agenda.

In my life, I’ve found that God kind of works the same way. Whenever He has some serious work to do, or some important directions to give, He’s probably going to try to get you alone. And take my advice—go where He’s leading you. Don’t resist His calling out of fear of isolation, or breaking away from everything you’ve ever known, every plan you’ve ever made for yourself.

Hear this: He’s never going to leave you there, and you will never be abandoned or forgotten by God. In all likelihood, He’s just trying to get you to a place where you stop looking for answers within yourself and other people, and turn first and only to Him.

Acts 17: 26-27 From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us.

The barriers we construct are the only things that distance us from Christ. Finding Christ’s will for your life is not impossible. Discerning His voice and His leading is not a special privilege reserved for pastors, Saints, and spiritual gurus. Before the beginning of time, God determined the exact place you should live so that you would reach out your arms and embrace Him as your only answer, your only hope.

Philippians 3:20-21 But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.

We don’t know the place in the heavens where we were first conceptualized in the mind of God. But we can rest in assurance knowing that we are here now, exactly at this moment, by His design. Turn to God. Seek Him first. And I promise, you will hear.

These are a few things I saw (and heard) yesterday in the beautiful village of Eze.

Psalm 16:11 You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Matthew 4:19 “Come, follow me,” Jesus said.

Psalm 19:1-4 The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge. They have no speech, they use no words; no sound is heard from them. Yet their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world.

“In this age of independence, people find it hard to acknowledge their neediness. However, I have taken you along a path that has highlighted your need for Me: placing you in situations where your strengths are irrelevant and your weaknesses were glaringly evident. Through the aridity of those desert marches, I have drawn you closer and closer to Myself…you have realized that needing Me is the key to knowing me intimately, which is the gift above all gifts.” Jesus Calling

Matthew 28:20 And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.