Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Friday, June 20, 2014

Remembering


It's not my grandmother's birthday, or even the anniversary of her death...but I've been thinking about her lately. 

Remembering every detail of her house. Remembering the way she loved to change out her bedspread to give her room a fresh look. Remembering the little apartment she moved into later in life. Remembering how she always kept her freezer stocked with at least five different flavors of ice cream. Remembering every birthday party she came to, every Christmas visit, every dress-up costume she sewed, every time she said, "I'm so very proud of you." Remembering how unexpected her death was to me, although all the signs were there—and had been there for a while. I just couldn't see them. 

It wasn't real to me that one day she would no longer be here. I always told her that she would live forever, and I think I honestly believed that. I never imagined that she wouldn't know my husband or be at our wedding. I still feel the urge sometimes to call her on the phone and tell her about a new recipe I've tried—she was the master chef, the expert, the maker of unmatched chocolate pies and fried chicken—so I know she'd love to hear all about my experiments in the kitchen. She was incredibly smart, ready to laugh, gave the best head scratches, and was the most consistent pen pal I've ever had. I rejoice in the fact that my grandmother is with our Savior, free of pain and suffering. But I miss her...and that's okay.

I wrote this poem after her passing three years ago. In honor of remembering, I'd like to share it with anyone else who's still remembering, too. 


No Scents
by Karley Kiker


We were talking perfume
the other day—
our favorite scents,
what’s “us.”

Bright freesias,
gardenias,
sandalwood,
musk.

I tried to remember you,
that essence you wore.
Not vanilla or roses—
nothing bottled,
something more.

But was it flour or sugar?
Was it cinnamon or iced tea?
Store-bought cookies,
scratch gravy—
was it coffee?
Was it me?

Sitting right by you
on the couch where you read,
curled up at bedtime,
you scratching my head.

The farmer’s market
or tomatoes
with salt and black pepper?
Was it bacon grease,
or biscuits—
was it ice cream?
Something better?

Your hairspray,
that detergent,
potted plants on your porch?
The dogwoods,
raked leaves,
a clipped lawn,
your church?  

Flowers,
more flowers,
your picture,
a frame.

Held tears,
shared memories,
a box bearing
your name.

You’re gone and you’re not—
you’re there but you’re here.
Your things left behind,
your fragrance disappeared.

Unbottled,
never captured,
not one
but the whole.

Undefined,
that scent—
something most like
your soul.

Monday, December 2, 2013

Thanksgiving + giving thanks

First off, my apologies for the blog absence. Here are a few excuses for the recent posting gap:

1. The "Our Story" series (episode 1, episode 2, and episode 3, and the final chapter) really took it out of me, writing-wise. Not in a bad way...more of a "that was really powerful, and now I feel at a loss for words" kind of way. It's hard to follow up a God story with human words. Does that make sense?

2. I recently completed the manuscript for a how-to book based on my column for D Weddings, "Hitched in a Hurry," and am working toward a spring book release (more details to come!). I'm also juggling a few freelance projects. So bye, free time.

3. Basically, I've just been doing a lot of reveling in God's goodness.

Speaking of which...

The Kikers just celebrated our first Thanksgiving! It looked like this:


It went like this: North Carolina, in-laws, crunchy walks through fallen leaves, football and fireplaces, coffee and hot chocolate, oranges and cloves, light tours, a castle visit, ornament making, and FOOD. Like, the best Thanksgiving meal I've ever had. So many good things packed into just one short week.





My mother-in-law's Thanksgiving table was beautiful, and decorations included "leaves of praise." One in particular caught my eye.


It just kind of "popped," you know?


My favorite decorations, of course, were of the human variety. I love having a second family that's not afraid to make a good silly face when the occasion arises.


I should probably mention that Taylor and I also purchased our first home during our visit. Formerly known as Asheville's "Biltmore Estate," this beauty is now officially referred to in my mind as "Kiker Castle."




It boasts a casual 250 rooms, huge gardens, a huger kitchen, and statues of cherubs, so...Christmas at our place this year? Literally, everyone I know is invited.

. . .

On a serious note, more than ever this year I was reminded that Thanksgiving shouldn't be a one-day thing. A lot of concern has been expressed about the fact that Christmas (or rather, the world of retail) has staged a takeover of Thanksgiving as a holiday. At first I kind of hopped on that ship, and said things like, "YEAH. Why IS Hobby Lobby putting up Christmas trees in mid-September?"

Actually, I'm still presently saying that. But the point is, it doesn't really matter. What really matters is that every single day, we bring a sacrifice of thanksgiving and worship and praise before the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. That every single day, we remember the many ways that we have been and continue to be blessed—and that in response to God's immeasurable Goodness and Kindness, we lay our lives, our plans, our everything down at His feet. We tell the world the reason we can have joy no matter the circumstance. We speak His name at every opportunity. We live like this:

Hebrews 13:15: "Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that openly profess his name."


Happy continued Thanksgiving!
. . .

UP NEXT ON THE BLOG: "Christmas Decor on a Dime"—tips and tricks for decking the halls without breaking the bank! (Preview: We spent a grand total of $17 to decorate our entire apartment. Stay tuned!)

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Let's play catch-up

If there are any long-time bloggers out there who happen to stumble across this looks-like-I've-been-blogging-forever, but actually-really-inconsistent piece of cyberspace, please answer this question:

How do you keep coming up with (interesting) things to write about?

Please don't direct me to your post/the cupcakes & cashmere post/any other post on blogging "how-tos and FAQS"...I've probably read all of them, anyway. I'm not looking for info on how to gain a massive following, here — just admitting that I feel lame talking about what I ate for dinner and what my favorite shade of Essie nail polish is. Does anyone seriously care about that stuff? Other than you, mom.



I'm pretty sure that I don't have writer's block, because, well...I'm a writer. I've finished my first novel manuscript and am currently working on a sassy + fun how-to book.

I still don't think this means that people care about my nail polish preferences. (Although for the record, I love neutrals, coral, and turquoise...AKA, our wedding colors).

Anyway — that was kind of an aside, but I'd love for you to leave your thoughts in the comment box. How do you determine what content is blog-worthy, and what's just TMI?

~

On another note, Labor "Day" should be renamed "Gain 5+ Pounds Weekend." Hubs and I took a 10-hour road trip and met up with the in-laws in Alabama (does this count as a travel post?), and oh-my-gosh-like-wow did we eat some food. From the fancy to the straight southern fixins, we dined and whined (about how full our stomachs were) all weekend long. We're talking barbeque, mac and cheese, potato salad, deviled eggs, duck tacos, orange danish rolls, and eight trips (okay, three) to Steel City Pops.

I wish I had my own picture to share, but I was too busy eating.
 This one is courtesy of al.com


These pops are LEGIT, y'all. Which is probably why they were just featured in Southern Living Magazine. Personal fav: the coconut pop. It had real toasted coconut flakes at the bottom, and tasted just like the paletas I became addicted to on our honeymoon in the Riviera Maya.
Chowing down on some home-style BBQ. We love you, Alabama.

Although this post may lead you to believe otherwise, the purpose of our trip was NOT to take a culinary tour of Alabama. We actually had to do big-kid stuff, like packing all of my husband's belongings + extra wedding presents into our car. To distract ourselves from menial tasks such as these, we watched football and took touristy breaks. 


Myself and Vulcan, the symbol(s) of Birmingham

I wish I had taken lots of awesome photographs with my real, non-iPhone camera and then compiled a "GO-SEE-DO" list for Birmingham. But living life takes priority over blogging, you know?

The good news: We now officially have all of our earthly belongings under one roof, meaning I can finally start posting apartment transformation pics, woohoo! InStyle Home, here we come.

~

THROWBACK THURSDAY  

"Pee on a Plane" — The whole "don't judge a book by the cover" thing? This LA mom reminded me that it still stands. Posted exactly three years ago!

"Familiar Faces, New Places" — A tour of Monaco + Saint Paul de Vence circa October 2011

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Hearing and Knowing: Part 2

Today, I have the privilege of introducing a very special guest blogger: my dad.


 

He's bringing you part two of "Water and Oil" - the next saga in our mini conversation series about the Holy Spirit. No further introduction necessary; I can't wait for you to get to know his heart.


________________________________________________________________________________________________________


Stephen, the man so full of faith and the Holy Spirit’s power, did spectacular miracles among the people.” Acts 6:8 (TLB)

Last night I watched “Father of Lights”, the final movie in the Finger of God trilogy. It was moving to say the least. There was a pastor in India that woke up every day and simply did what the Holy Spirit told him to do that day. His story was amazing, as were the people and their circumstances he encountered. The movie left me to question why I’m not experiencing the Holy Spirit like that more often in my life, and larger still, why we don’t experience the Spirit as a Christian culture at large.

Although I’m still learning the discipline of abiding in the Spirit daily, I will say that at several times in my life I have heard the Holy Spirit give me a clear word and I have stood on that word and watched it unfold exactly as spoken. On one occasion, I was sitting in my car in the middle of a hailstorm. I had just hung up the phone from a call with my daughter, Karley. She had received the news from SMU that her opportunity for a full ride scholarship was not to be. She felt rejected and hurt.

As a parent, when my child hurts, I hurt. We had all thought the scholarship was a sure thing. It seemed like a perfect fit. I cried out to God in that hailstorm and clearly heard Him speak this phrase to me: she can go to California and you can let her.” Whoa! Instantly my mood of sorrow and hurt was broken, changed instead to excitement. With one smooth phrase, He addressed my biggest concerns. Would she be accepted into Pepperdine (her dream school), would I be able to pay for it, and could I let her go all the way to the West Coast, knowing I couldn’t rescue her at a moment’s notice?

Keep in mind that to this point, Karley had never even left the nest for summer camp unless her mom or myself were also attending as counselors. Also, I am a bit of a control freak! Needless to say, having heard the Father’s voice, I went home and told her that she was going to be accepted into Pepperdine and that is where she would go. She got the official notice from P.U. the next day, which was confirmation of the word He had spoken during the storm. And just so you know, He provided the funds and she graduated in three years with no debt. Praise God!

On another occasion, the Holy Spirit clearly told me I was going to have a dog; and not just any dog, but one that I had just been told about by a friend. He was a two-year-old lab being given up by a single mom. The timing was perfect for me. I clearly needed a “bud” as I was going through empty nest syndrome. There was only one problem: my wife Ann is not a big fan of dogs, and I knew that constantly having hair in the house would never fly with her. While pulling into my driveway in my Jeep, though, I clearly heard the voice of God tell me this was my dog. It immediately moved me to tears and I said to Him out loud, “then you are going to have to take care of Ann.” I proceeded into the house and asked her what she thought about us adopting this lab. Her response was simply, “we can go take a look”. Whoa! I knew right away her spirit was open and it was going to happen. I’ve had Cody now for over three years, and consider him a true companion. On a much deeper level, through pet ownership, God has used Cody to redeem me from past wounds. But I’ll save that for another day.

Despite these experiences, more often than not, I don’t operate my life on a consistent basis by following the Holy Spirit. It seems that neither does a large percentage of our American Christian culture. After last night, I believe I know why. We don’t encounter God in miraculous ways because we simply don’t believe we need Him to live our lives of comfort and pleasure. Instead of seeking God and continually talking with Him throughout the day, we only cry out when something goes wrong with our plans or we encounter fear over something. I call this being a “foxhole Christian”. We have bought into the lie that comfort and pleasure are the primary goals in life. The American way has become about acquiring things and having more leisure time to use them. We believe that this will ultimately make us happy.But since things can never make us truly happy (and always leave us longing for more), our blessings have become our downfall. We’ve been deceived.

What then do we pursue? Contrary to what our culture says, the greatest achievement in life is not becoming financially independent or acquiring more possessions, but rather the ability to hear the voice of God and have Him accomplish His purposes through us and in us. God says knowing Him personally is life's greatest achievement. It's the Olympic Gold medal! This is what the Lord says: "let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice, and righteousness on Earth, for in these I delight, declares the Lord” (Jeremiah 9:23-24).

The operating system of the Christian is the Holy Spirit. God designed it that way and promised to impart the Holy Spirit upon salvation.  Psalm 32:8 says, "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go. I will counsel you and watch over you."

In my life, I am so often distracted by all of my gadgets, possessions, and technology. That’s a problem, considering the times when I hear His voice most clearly are quiet times; while meditating on the Word, mowing the lawn, sitting in the steam room, or other places where distractions are muted. In this I learn what He means in Psalms 46:10 when He says, “Be still and know that I am God.”

First, I rest and abide in Him. Next I discipline myself to speak to Him regarding every detail and decision of my day, then listen for His response. Finally, I act in obedience to His direction. I do this until it becomes a habit — not an exception. I have found that in doing so, I experience what it means to be led by the Holy Spirit and I encounter God in miraculous ways.

Email: wkeitho@yahoo.com

Twitter: @wkeitho

Blog: reparentedbygod.blogspot.com
Karley with a K. Todos los derechos reservados. © Maira Gall.